The Bread God Has Given

Exodus 16 deals with the complaints of the Israelites.  They had just fled from Egypt a month ago & were now in the desert, & could not see the "light at the end of the tunnel."

As a human, I can sympathize with their complaints of hunger. Yes, Egypt may not have been ideal, but at least they were fed.  Can you imagine how they felt to know God didn't forget about them when he provided them with manna & quail?!

In so many ways, I find myself behaving like the Israelites.  My biggest complaint to God is why do I feel like he doesn't hear me & why do I continue to have this feeling of being forgotten by him?

It is then that I realize God's "manna" for me each morning is nothing I thought I wanted, but everything God knew I needed.  He provided me with an amazing job in a place I knew no one, but in that, I was forced to get to know myself.  I didn't have the distractions of constant chaos & social events to keep me busy.  For the first time, I knew what it was like to be alone, but in this process I was able to work on myself.  I figured out my own values & really started fresh...which was something I desperately needed. He provided me with amazing family, friends, & new people in my life. He showed me I was in no way ready to settle down like I thought I was, to appreciate my health, my up-bringing, & the comfort of his word.

God has provided me with everything I need & much more than I deserve.  Even as I write this & reflect, I'm embarrassed at how often I look @ the negatives & what I don't have.  It is most evident that God has not forgotten me, just that I stopped trusting him. 

Desire for Reconciliation

    

Have you ever stopped to think about what the world looked like when first created?  I think it's hard to fathom the beauty & I don't think any description could give it justice.

Genesis chapter 3 speaks of the rebellion of human kind.  As I read through this chapter, I can't help but ask myself the question; Adam & Eve what were you thinking?! You had EVERYTHING provided for you in a sinless, beautiful, perfect life, & yet that wasn't enough.  The desire to want the one thing that was off-limits caused the WHOLE world to change.

As I mentally try to put myself in that position I can't help but ask myself, would I have made the same mistake?  As much as I would like to say, "no, I'm sure I would've been perfectly content & obeyed God," I'm almost positive I probably would've made the same mistake.

My "Garden of Eden" scenario is a candy bar (I know, not even close, but I do have quite the sweet tooth). Let's say I have every possible candy known to man available.  I could have as much of whatever I wanted, but I couldn't have the whoppers. Now, I don't even like whoppers that much, but I can tell you that the only thing I would be craving @ this time would be a whopper. I would probably even consider paying a little extra just to have some.

I think as humans, we struggle daily to be happy & content with the amazing life God has given us...or maybe that's just myself? There is always going to be something bigger & better.  It is then that I realize my wants & needs rarely coincide with God's.  Instead, I keep chasing this worldly view of needing "more" & "having to have the best" while never being fully satisfied.  My point being, in the world my "forbidden fruit" is the desire to keep up with the world.  If someone tells me I can't, I want to. If I'm told not to do something, that is suddenly the most important thing I need to do. Why do we always want what we can't have? Why can't we just be content? Instead of focusing on what I can't have/what I don't have, I need to re-train my brain to think of everything I DO have. I may have gone off topic here - but I think I got what God wanted to me out of this chapter.

Irreplaceable

I have a confession to make,
I've been trying to live life my own way.
The stress of it all seemed a lot to handle,
and my sanity was the price to pay.

Lord, help me to remember
I'm not meant to do this on my own.
You have the answers for the questions I seek,
you know my words before I can speak.
God, you paid the ultimate sacrifice,
sending your son, so we may have life.

I'm giving it up, my worries & fears.
My joys & my praises, because you are all ears.
I've come to find hope in all that I do,
to leave it on the table, because there is none like you.

Time

They always say time is the answer
they always say time is your friend
but I feel time is running out &
I'm right where I began.

You always have a dream growing up
the way your life is going to be,
but the hands on the clock move too fast
and so far reality differs from those dreams.

The older I get the more I see
time is not my friend, in fact, it's my enemy.
Sure, older & wiser outweighs young & naive
but I feel time has stripped away my purity.

My child-like view of the world is gone
the older I get the more aware I am of what really goes on.
Lord I pray with all of my heart
this world I live in will not jade my heart.

Are you over-cooked...or just right?!

"Nothing of me is original, I'm the combined effort of everyone I've met" - Chuck Palaniuk.

I absolutely LOVE this quote, because it's so true! I cannot think of one person I've met in my life who I haven't taken something from.  It could be as vain as a hairstyle, fashion trend, or make-up idea or could be as deep as the way they act in an adverse situation, how they interact with others & make them feel, or there how genuine they are. Do they show the love of God with everyone they encounter or are they as two-faced as a coin?!

Sure, some have left their mark more than others & not everyone has influenced me in a positive way...some it was more like "what not to do," but overall every person has helped to mold me into who I am today.

Have the ingredients (friends, family, strangers) you've surrounded yourself with in your life produced the best flavor of you? Perhaps you need to add a dash of happiness, a pinch of sweetness, a cup of humbleness, or a quart of joy into your bowl?! Cheesy metaphor...absolutely, but something to think about...of course!